How to Stand Out from the Crowd

The State of Black Girls Networking Event

 

Nowadays, it seems like we are living in a society of people doing and wearing whatever—and being whomever—they want. Despite this group of brave people “doing them”, there is a larger number of people who are under pressure to adopt a predetermined set of social norms to be accepted.

Don’t go against the grain. Go with the flow. Don’t rock the boat. These are just a few phrases I can hear in my head right now.

Have you ever felt like that in life?

Has anyone ever said those words to you?

At the risk of sounding like a high school valedictorian, I say, that your particular presence on this earth cannot be duplicated or replaced. Each one of us is uniquely created and has specific gifts and talents to bring to the table. Your voice matters and it is needed. *drops mic and descends proverbial soapbox*

But, what can you do to stand apart from the crowd of conformity? I’ve put together a “Be” list of behaviors to help you show up and stand out; it looks like making the “Be” list isn’t such a bad thing. See what I did there? lol

BE CONFIDENT [COMMUNICATE YOUR STRENGTHS].

How many of you knew this would be number one? Being confident is vital to helping you stand out because you set the tone of the interaction or situation before anyone else. When you walk into a room, your confidence tells people I’m resourceful, I’m funny, or I’m smart. But how do you do that exactly? Walk [or sit] upright, lift your head, make eye contact with others, initiate greetings or introductions. These behaviors prove that you’re not afraid to be seen and your excited to share who you are with others.

BE SELF-AWARE [EMBRACE YOUR INDIVIDUALITY].

I love this one because the best thing about being you is that you’re the only one! Even identical twins who mirror features can turn out to be totally different people. Don’t be so willing to dumb yourself down or give away your individuality to fit in. Embrace who you are. Not in pretense, but with a self-awareness that identifies your strengths, your weakness, your quirks, and says I’m different because…and own it!

BE POSITIVE.

Positive people are infectious, they are inspiring, they draw others near them, and they can flip the script—turning negatives into…well...positives. Being positive can help lift others out of depression and difficult situations, and can help you stand out as a beacon of light. No one wants to be around negative people, except other negative people! If you are overly critical, only see the bad in situations and people, or can’t smile you might stand out, but not in a good way.

BE PREPARED TO STAND OUT.

Possibly one of the worst things you can do is go into any situation unprepared—literally or metaphorically. Standing out means putting yourself out there to be noticed, vulnerable, judged and, yes, criticized. Be prepared that not everyone will buy what you sell. Some may be jealous, some may be indifferent, and some may not understand you at all. But even if you experience rejection, don’t internalize it. Don’t turn mutinous and put yourself down by discounting all the things we just agreed will make you stand out.

Finally, BE READY for what happens next. Now that you have everyone’s attention, what are you prepared to do with the opportunity?

Honing Your Craft

Hello everyone!

It feels like entrepreneurship is in the air lately! Everywhere I look I see people going into business for themselves, producing multiple streams of income and watering the rivers to financial freedom. As a full-time and part-time marketing and design professional, my brain is working 24/7. I work full time as a Senior Marketing Specialist for the largest commercial real estate company in the world, and part time I am a marketing and design business owner. This year, I am setting my business goals as a priority and honing my craft as a content creator.

When I look up the word hone (or honing) Merriam-Webster defines it as 1) to sharpen or smooth with a whetstone; 2) to make more acute, intense, or effective. Wow, that’s powerful! You literally take a tool and grind it against a stone to make it sharper, more effective at what it was designed to do. Let’s see how to apply that same principle to ourselves. We each have a skill or talent—a innate gift—that come naturally; whether it be public speaking, drawing, financial aptitude, cooking, caring giving, or teaching. Taking that skill, talent or gift—or tool—and sharpening it so that it becomes effective is paramount to completing the job or task. The question then becomes, what device—or experience—can I use to sharpen this? A pencil sharpener was specifically designed to efficiently sharpen a pencil. All the mechanics and their functions were invented to give a pencil its cylindrical shape culminating a perfect sharp point with which to write. Can you sharpen a pencil with a knife? Sure! But will the point be perfect and sharp? Will the cuts be even? Can you carry it around with you at all times? Your tools need to be sharpened by things, people and experiences conducive to shaping and sharpening the purpose of those instruments.

Honing your craft first starts with identifying your craft. Think about something you do very well; something you don’t even have to think about in order to accomplish or something which you often receive compliments. This is your skill, your talent, your gift, your craft! Now, that you’ve identified it, what situations, experiences or environments are the most conducive to helping you sharpen your craft in order to monetize it? I’ll use myself as an example. As a self-taught graphic designer, I thought I had to offer everything under the sun to be successful: flyers, business cards, banners, logos, product design, illustrations, websites, and the list goes on. While I do offer several of those, creating websites is not my forte. In the beginning, I tried to learn all I could about HTML, coding, programs like Dreamweaver, and FTP uploading—honestly just typing those words gives me a headache. I limited the website projects I accepted, and I stressed about the few I had because I was trying to make it work with my limited knowledge. So, guess what, I got to the point where I realized I had to scale back and really narrow in on what I could execute REALLY well. Cutting those services didn’t mean I was taking a pay cut if anything I could charge more for my expertise in the remaining specialized areas!

Today, I continually immerse myself in order to become a subject-matter expert by taking webinars, staying current on industry trends, joining groups/communities, and studying other successful professionals. Collaboration is something that I have found helps me sharpen my skillset while becoming inspired by fellow subject-matter experts. By honing my craft, I can become a thought leader in my area of expertise where people will seek out my perspective and service.

This is the sweet spot. Creating the solution to a need. You don’t get there by doing a little bit of everything poorly or surrounding yourself with people who are not designed to enhance the effectiveness of who you are and the task you were designed to do. You get there by finding that thing specifically designed to refine you and the thing you were exclusively created to do on this earth. What is that thing for you? Is it finding a mentor, taking an online course to gain credibility in your industry, or perhaps renting a separate work space that fosters quiet and creativity? If you’ve gotten to this point, your work ethic is not in question, you are willing to do what it takes to succeed. Focus your hard work on refining, shaping and putting an edge on what it is you do best!

Beautifully Flawed...Imperfectly Perfect

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

I wanted to write a post of a different sort and just speak from the heart....

I have thoroughly been enjoying my holidays of time spent with loved ones. For my family and friends, that usually involves FOOD! This is the time of year when I like to take a little time off work, fellowship and dine. Unfortunately, there is a draw back to this period of decadent indulgence... 

I'm not ashamed to say I've gained a few holiday pounds that don't always have me feeling my best.  "I feel like crap." "I don't care today." "All black it is." "I can't fit this anymore." "I'm fat." We've all had those days of feeling fat or unattractive, prompting us to put little to no effort into our outward appearance. These are phrases I have found myself saying recently, specifically in the morning while dressing for work. It's also been the reason for my limited picture and blog postings. 

BUT I want to share a very helpful tip that counter acts these negative thoughts. I pick one thing to highlight about myself, that is not body related, in order to move the focus from areas I feel less confident about. If I don't like the way a dress is hitting my thighs or the muffin-top that is waiting to rise in those trousers (lol), I pick out a dope piece of jewelry, bust out a sexy pair of shoes, try a different makeup look or style my hair in an interesting way to take the attention off my body and help me get excited about something else. When I'm self conscious about my outfit (and ultimately my body), I don't feel my most confident nor do I operate at my best. So this little trick shifts my perspective.

Let's be honest, you may not ALWAYS love the skin you're in, but realize that you are a wonderfully, multifaceted human being. And that loving yourself does not mean highlighting the best parts of you only, but it's celebrating the parts that are a challenge...the parts that require work....the parts that aren't perfect. That's what is beautifully flawed.........imperfectly perfect about YOU!

Xoxo~Maya